Alive
by Dmarx
Summary: They came so close to losing each other tonight. So close. Post-ep for 5x08.


_Summary: They came so close to losing each other tonight. So close. Post-ep for 5x08._

_Author's Note: I wrote this entire fic on my iPod while on the train. I think I caught all the autocorrect fails but if I missed one, please feel free to point it out._

_Thanks to Andy for the beta and teelduo for the cover art! You ladies are so speedy!_

_Disclaimer: I'm pretty sure the first sentence of my AN is proof that I don't own Castle._

* * *

**Alive**

It was four a.m. by the time they reached Kate's building, delirious with exhaustion and rapidly descending from the adrenaline high that had been sustaining them since the moment they ended up on the wrong side of Dolan's guys' guns. Gates had given them a well-deserved day off and Castle knew it would be best to go straight to bed and sleep for a good twelve hours. But they were both still too wired from being on the run, almost dying, almost losing each other.

He was right behind her as she fished out her keys, unlocked her apartment and clumsily turned the knob. He trailed her through the door, one hand on her lower back, and the moment they were both inside, Kate found herself pinned against her front door, the strong lines of Castle's body pressed up against hers. His fingers were already fiddling with the buttons of her coat as he kissed her hard, eagerly seeking the life-affirming contact he had been yearning for since the moment she appeared beneath that bridge.

She had hugged him so tightly then and in that moment he never wanted to let her go. Ever.

But there were statements to be given, charges to be filed, and so they had separated, reluctantly reinstated their professional facades, and returned to the precinct. However, even that could not stop the desire that was thrumming through their veins, a fierce want borne out of fear and the residual anger of their earlier fight.

Seeing their parents conversing so easily had calmed some of that, but after being forced to remain in the precinct an hour after their folks left, the urgency was back with a vengeance.

Kate's jacket hit the floor almost before she realized he had taken it off of her, and she clutched his shoulders, clinging to him as she kissed him back, hands exploring the solid lines of his upper back. Tongues and teeth clashed, hot and hurried and, God, he needed her now.

"Castle," she gasped as he broke from her mouth, trailed his lips across her jaw and down to her pulse point. He nipped at the sensitive skin there and she felt her knees go weak.

"Oh," she released on a shallow breath, because it may have been over four months now since they started doing this but she was so far gone already. God, the things this man could do to her.

He continued his journey, down her neck, across her collarbone, licking and sucking at her skin, and she fisted a hand in his hair, arched into him. He nudged her shirt aside, latched onto the upper curve of her breast and she was pretty sure she was going to have a mark there tomorrow but she could not be bothered to care. Not in the slightest.

"Castle," Kate murmured, tugged lightly on his hair, an attempt to guide his head back up to hers. When he did not react right away she tugged harder, snagging his attention this time as she tilted his head back, pressed their lips together.

Her hands slid to his shoulders, working him free of his jacket as well and wasting no time in attacking the buttons of his shirt. She managed to work half them free, but when she fumbled the next two she gave up on taking her time and tore the shirt the rest of the way open, sending three or four buttons skittering across the floor.

Castle shrugged out of the garment, letting it fall in a heap on the floor as Kate's bare hands slid down his chest, leaving a trail of fire in their wake, igniting a spark of primal need inside of him. When her fingers reached the waistband of his jeans, his hips bucked into hers subconsciously and he hissed at her touch, the slight chill of her hands melding with the liquid heat coursing through his veins.

"Kate," he groaned.

She responded by nipping at his lower lip, soothing it with her tongue, and from then on everything happened so fast that Kate had no idea what was going on. All she knew was that her clothes had joined his in a pile on the floor and she was suddenly completely naked and pinned against her front door by her equally naked - and very aroused - boyfriend.

He slid a hand up the back of her thigh, a silent invitation, and she pressed back against the cool metal, hoisted herself up and wrapped first one leg, then the other, around his waist.

Castle groaned at the contact, at how badly she wanted him, and ground his hips into hers, seeking the contact they both so strongly desired .

"Castle," Kate panted, impatient and needy and not the least bit embarrassed that her desperation was evident in her voice. "Now."

"Right."

He planted his other hand firmly on the back of her thigh, pulled back just enough to align himself with her, hot and wet and _so good_.

He slid into her hard and fast, unable to hold back, and she moaned and threw her head back at the sensation, the sudden relief combined with an intensified want from the feeling of _finally_ having him inside of her.

He paused for just a moment, felt her walls flutter slightly as she adjusted, and then he was moving inside of her, his strokes hurried and uneven and she could tell from the lack of rhythm that he was close already. Kate shifted her back against the door, rocked her hips into his with every thrust, and it was a matter of moments before she felt the orgasm building, blurring the edges of her mind and narrowing her focus to the man in front of her, surrounding her, inside of her.

His breaths were choppy and shallow, and all it took was Kate falling over the edge, spasming around him, to draw his release from him as well. She could feel him inside of her, hot and pulsing, as she let the feeling overtake her, muscles heavy and trembling, her whole body limp.

Castle dropped his head forward, forehead coming to rest on her shoulder, hot breaths fanning out over her bare skin and sending goosebumps dancing across her flesh.

"Oh, God, Kate," he managed, voice lazy and sated and overwhelmed with so many emotions.

She laughed lightly, tilted her head to press a kiss to his temple.

After a long moment, Kate loosened her legs from their iron grip around his hips, dropped her feet to the ground. The motion caused Castle to slide out of her, brushing against her still sensitive center ever so slightly, and she gasped at the unexpected contact. Castle smirked against her skin but wisely said nothing.

As her feet hit the floor, though, he could not hide his satisfied grin as her knees wobbled and her legs gave out, buckling beneath her. She tightened her grip on his shoulders and his arms automatically rose to wrap around her waist, steadying her. He lowered them to the ground then, Kate half sprawled in his lap as he turned them slightly so both were leaning sideways against the door.

"You good?" he asked smugly.

Kate fought the urge to glare at him, though she had a feeling that she would not be able to glare effectively right now anyways. "Yeah."

He pressed a kiss to her scalp, held her to him gently. "Mmkay."

* * *

"Castle?" Kate murmured a few minutes later, once their breathing had returned to normal and she had regained some semblance of cognitive function.

He lifted his head from her shoulder, sought out her eyes. They were dark and serious, and he almost thought he saw hints of anxiety swimming in their depths.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry."

He cocked his head. "For what?"

"Doubting us," she admitted, slightly ashamed that after all this time she had still allowed her insecurity to get the better of her.

"It's okay," he placated.

Kate shook her head. "It's not."

"Do you believe in us now? That we can make this work despite our differences?" He asked gently, running a hand through her hair, fingertips massaging her scalp.

She nodded.

"Then it's okay."

Silence fell for a moment before Castle spoke again.

"What changed your mind?" He inquired.

"Leo."

"A conniving murderer changed your mind about us?"

She shrugged, nodded. "He overheard you and me arguing. After you left he said something about how he might die tonight and it made him realize that life was too short to worry about the future. That I should live for today."

"And?" Castle prompted.

She shrugged again. "And I can see his point."

He nodded thoughtfully, leaned in to press their lips together sweetly, gratitude for her realization, for how hard she was trying to make this work. "Yeah, me too."

* * *

"So, bed?" Kate asked after another extended silence, in which the only sound was their breathing as they sat slumped against her front door, craving the comfort of her bed but too relaxed to move.

Castle nodded, sleepily lifted his head from where it had once again settled against her shoulder.

"Yeah, probably should."

They awkwardly staggered to their feet, clinging to each other's hands as they did so, not yet ready to sever their connection.

Exhaustion had set in in full force now, washing over them in waves as they sluggishly stumbled to her bedroom, collapsed on her bed. Kate fumbled with the covers, tugging them out from beneath their bodies and burrowing into the blankets. Castle snuggled in beside her, scooted right up next to her and slung an arm over her waist and wedged a leg between hers. She curled into him, into the cradle of his chest, felt him hug her tighter in response.

"Hell of a day," she breathed.

"Hell of a day," he echoed.

"Castle?" She lifted her head, seeking out his eyes in the darkness.

"Yeah?"

Kate smiled openly, the one that he loved so much, that only appeared when her guard was down and she was holding nothing back. "I'm really glad you're okay."

He smiled, lips brushing her forehead. "Me too."

She pressed a kiss to his chest right over his heart, covered it with her palm, and by his unsteady exhale, she could tell that he understood her silent gesture.

"Good night, Kate."

She smiled softly, spoke the words that just hours ago she feared she might never again have a chance to say.

"Night, Castle."

* * *

**THE END**

* * *

_Thoughts?_


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